i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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