Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
