My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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