I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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