I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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