billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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