I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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