Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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