Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
