True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
