Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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