Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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