I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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