ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
