I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
