READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
