I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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