Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
