I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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