What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
