My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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