Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
