So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
