How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize