dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize