The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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