just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
