Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
