Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
