i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
