JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
