I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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