i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
