Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
