i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
