sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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