apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
