I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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