I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
