Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
