I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize