I'm jealous of your bromance
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
