I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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