i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
