I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
