Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
