It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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