I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
