What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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