So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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