bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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