Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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