I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize