haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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