Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize