I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
