Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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