I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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