i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
